Pop Tarts
by Jetta.Vroom.Vroom
Summary: Thor introduces his guilty pleasure to Lady Sif and the Warriors Three.


"Ah!" Thor, the thunder God stretched his arms out and grinned as he and the warriors three stormed quickly into the beautifully decorated dining room. "There is nothing better than training for six solid hours and having a feast fit for a king right afterwards."

"You're absolutely right, my fiend." The large and intimidating Volstagg replied as he took his place on the center of the table. He stretched his arm out as he grasped an enormous pork leg from the serving trays.

"Um…Volstagg…" Frandal grinned as he focused his full attention to the large bearded man. "You do KNOW that the pork leg was reserved for Thor…right?"

"There is another!" Volstag sang as he grasped pieces of fruit from the colorful bowls.

Lady Sif, Asgard's most fierce female warrior quickly eyed the honey-glazed legless swine that sat in the middle of the great dining room table. "No, Valstagg. There is not another…"

"There's not?" The bearded man's voice began to trail off as Thor took his seat in front of them three. "Now, where is the pork leg that has always been reserved for me?"

A very nervous Volstag shifted his eyes in every direction; first from the desperate Thor to a very quiet Hogun sat beside Thor.

The silent warrior was hungrily devouring his fresh garden salad along with a piece of poultry meat.

"WHERE IS MY PORK LEG?" Thor boomed. "Someone in this room has taken it? I know of it."

"It was Volstagg…" Frandal grinned as he drank from his wine glass.

Thor's blue eyes became slits as he rose from his seat to point a thick finger at the bearded Asgardian warrior. "So it was you!"

"Uh…yes…it was I…" Volstagg nervously stammered as he let out a chuckle. "But please calm down."

"You have stolen MY pork leg and you are telling me to CALM DOWN?" Thor demanded angrily. "Never!"

"Look," The bearded man grasped his plate and handed it to the fierce blonde. "I haven't bitten into it…you can have it. If you'd like…"

Hogun looked up from his garden salad and shrugged before resuming to consume his fresh garden treat.

"I will not eat leftovers of anyone!" Thor demanded. "Cooks!"

Sif rose from her chair and approached the angered blonde. "They are not leftovers, Thor. Volstagg has not even…"

"If they are not leftovers…then why did he touch it with his hands, huh?" Thor snarled as he crossed his hands on his large chest. "I will refuse to eat it until Cook has prepared one fresh."

"Don't be so childish, Thor." Sif replied softly.

"Do not tell me what to do, woman." Thor scoffed.

A smile was pasted on the warriors three's faces as Sif glared at Thor.

"It seems you have forgotten that I am one of the fiercest battlers in Asgard, my friend." Sif replied seductively.

"I have not forgotten." Thor grinned nervously. "I…am just angry because I am hungry that's all. I didn't really mean to say that."

"Only a foolish child will blame his empty stomach for his stupidity." Hogun whispered through his mouth full of vegetation.

"You looked a lot more appealing to me when you are silent, my friend." Thor smiled. "COOK!"

"How may I be of service?" The cook had finally come to Thor's commands.

"Cook another Pork leg for me." Thor instructed. "And make it quick."

"It will take approximately six hours for the pork leg to cook." The cook replied as he strolled back into the kitchen.

"Six hours?" Thor bellowed. "But I'm hungry!"

"Too bad." Lady Sif grinned as she bit into a red apple. "It appears that you have to eat what you have got now."  
"Never…" Thor grinned as he took out a small blue box from underneath his armor.

"What is that you've got there?" Lady Sif asked in curiosity.

"They're called Pop Tarts, I was introduced to them down in Earth by Jane Foster and her friends." Thor grinned as he opened the box with the brown cinnamon flavored pastry. "Here, have some my friend."

Sif took the thin piece of pastry and placed it into her mouth.

Thor and the warriors three watched her intently as she savored the sweet flavor in her mouth.

A few happy moans escaped her lips as she toyed around with the lightly frosted crust in her mouth.

After she swallowed, the dark haired woman stared at her friends. "That was the best piece of consummation I have ever…consumed." She grinned. "I must have more!"

"Sure, you can have more!" Thor grinned as he gave her a whole slab of Pop Tart. "You all can have some!"

Lady Sif and the warriors three raised their wine glass over their heads and cheered as they devoured the whole pack of 12 Pop Tarts.

"They're all gone?" Frandal said with a frown as he stared helplessly at the empty box.

"Not to worry, my friends." Thor grinned as he placed eight more boxes of Pop Tarts over the table. "I have plenty more where that came from!"

The friends cheered as they spent the rest of dinnertime consuming a total of 96 Pop Tarts.

"They are so good!" Volstag sang happily.

"Oh yes, they are!" Frandall agreed.

"They have become quite addicting to me…" Hogun breathed.

"They're simply…amazing." Sif gushed. "I must have more!"

Six Hours Later

"I have spent the last six hours simmering and perfectly glazing your Pork Leg! And here it… …" A very startled Cook dropped the tray to the floor as she let out a high pierced scream.

Thor, Lady Sif, and the Warriors three were all sprawled on the ground, groaning in despair.

With mammoth sized stomachaches.

"I have brought you the Pork leg you asked of me." Cook whispered lightly in Thor's ear. "But…what has happened to you?"

"Pop Tarts…" Thor replied as he pointed the 12 empty boxes.

"You have consumed poison?" Cook cried.

"No…just…Pop Tarts."

"What would you like me to do with the Pork leg?"

"Uh…Take it away…I…" Thor said weakly as he grasped his aching stomach with his hands. "I am not hungry…anymore."

* * *

**Moral of the story? **

**Do not consume more than 96 Pop Tarts with your friends.**

**Thanks for reading. :]**


End file.
